Falling Like Rain

      The past couple of months I've really taken a step back from all forms of social media in an attempt to gain sanity and realize life without being tied to what other people think about what I have to say. I have to say it has been one of the most liberating choices I've made in quite awhile. Needless to say, due to this choice many things that happened the past couple of months have been kept quiet until I felt freed to talk about them. 
      To start off I want to say that this is NOT a bragging blog on great things that have happened to me. This is a blog that describes the ultimate grace and favor of God- something that can only truly occur when you're working in and toward His Will.
      The best way to describe the things that have happened is think of rain. Lots of it. I know some of us may not quite remember what it looks like. So here's a reminder:

      After graduation in May, much to my delight, I was able to continue working on Schreiner Campus for Campus Ministry. I was able to finish some things up that still needed to be done. I started really applying for jobs and just praying that God would open the doors He wanted. (Granted, I've only now learned the folly of such a question since Satan has as much power to open doors but that's another post.) During my waiting period for something to come of all my applications I was also looking for a car. Things were going slowly in the natural but I had determined in myself to enjoy it. I knew that God would provide for everything I needed in His time. Yes, there were times when I just wanted to sit and cry out of frustration over how things looked but.....then came the call that I never expected. 

      My dad called me one afternoon. When he began to talk I felt like I was in a dream. A couple that I knew from home had prayed about it and felt that God wanted them to give me a car. Yes, you read that correctly. Give...ME....a car.... I felt like I needed to pinch myself. Goodness, even now, after several weeks, I still feel the need to pinch myself about it. Anyway, so I became the proud owner of a 2004 Ford Focus at no cost to me. There is no doubt that God orchestrated the whole thing.

     Then came the interview that I knew I would get. I went through it and gave it my best. Yet, in the end, they chose someone else. At first I panicked. All I could think of was, "what if I don't get a job? What if I can't get a job even at Wal-Mart? My loans kick in and I'll be stuck with nothing...." Talk about taking my eyes off of God's provision and focusing on the the world's view on employment rates right now. 

      Then a friend at church told me about a small pest control company that was looking for an office manager. She explained it would basically consist of making appointments and dealing with the financial aspect of it. There was something about it that just struck me so I decided to apply and after a couple of days of praying, on both of our accounts, I accepted the position. It has been such an amazing blessing in offering me time and space to grow in ways I wouldn't have been able to in other positions as well as offering me the freedom to come up with creative ideas for helping the company.

    The thing is that I never would have imagined God orchestrating all this. I have lived my life knowing "that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose" (Rom 8:28) yet, I've never experienced it to the fullest until the past couple of months. It has taken me to a whole new level. It's like in Malachi 3:10 when God says for us to "try Him now in this...to see if He will not open for us the windows of heaven and pour out for us such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it..." The God of Heaven has proven His faithfulness to me and I know He will continue to do so. <3

       

      

A Prayer

"Teach us, Good Lord, to serve Thee as Thou deservest; to give and not to count the cost; to fight and not to heed the wounds; to toil and not to seek for rest; to labor and not to ask for any reward save that of knowing that we do Thy will. Through Jesus Christ our Lord." - Saint Ignatius of Loyola

Beautiful Things - Gungor Music & Lyric Video

No Clarifying Clause

I was watching an assigned YouTube video by Michael Wesch called Love and Marriage in the World Today. He is an anthropology professor who is presenting on what it means to be in love and married in today's society. Well, he presents a short clip from an Indian man who is explaining how parents convince their children to accept arranged marriage in the Indian culture. The young man states that one explanation parents give is comparing marriage to that of eating a sugar cane. He points out that the part of the cane that has the most sugar concentrate is at the bottom and as you work your way up the sugar's strength is slowly diluted with water until at the very top it is only water. These parents point out that love marriages are like eating a sugar cane from the bottom up. At first there is a lot of love and good feelings but the longer you are with the person the less "sugar" there is while with arranged marriages you start out at the top with no sugar but the longer you are with the person the  more "sugar" you find, as you work your way down the cane. It struck me. Perhaps there is some wisdom in distance?

Dr. Wesch tells the story of Triston and Isolde (the real story, not the movie version lol.) According to legend they drank a love potion and that is what caused them to fall in love...it was not of their own choosing. When Isolde's nurse finds out what they did she tells them, "you have drunk your death." Triston, after the potion has taken affect, tells her- "If by death you mean the agony of life, I'll accept that...if by agony of being discovered...I accept that as well...if by death you mean eternal damanation in the fires of hell...I accept that too."

Now I realize that this is just a story but to an extent isn't that how we have been taught to view love? Love seems to be synonymous with agony, extreme sacrifice, death, hurt, etc. Aren't those are the most "romantice" stories? The Notebook, Triston and Isolde, Beauty and the Beast, and the Little Mermaid...just to name a few. Someone is always hurt in the most romantic movies. I listen to people talk about how they don't like their significant others talking to the other sex because they view most of the opposite sex as "a potential threat." Why?...Because our view of love is tainted...

The other night the thought came to me- lust promotes bondage and conquest while true love promotes freedom and equality. I believe the best definition of love is found in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
I feel that the world's definition of love would go something like this:
"Love is patient...but when you've had a long day a little impatience is to be expected. Love is kind...of course if that person REALLY messed you over...well...then it's all about getting even. Envy shows you're desperate...but hey aren't we all desperate?! As for boasting- well if you did well...why not?! Ah, pride...that's what helps you stay safe... And that self-seeking part- if I don't watch out for myself who will?! The last part is just....unrealistic...always is a big word and equivalent to "a lot of work" and I already have a job."
Yet, there are no clarifying clauses in 1 Corinthians. Paul didn't say love always trusts...except when that hot girl is talking to your boyfriend...then you better go slap that chick before she sinks her teeth in your man because he might not be able to keep his hands off. Nope, he said love always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Is it a high expectation? Most definitely. Can you do it on your own? Of course not. That's why God set the standard that high, so we would turn to Him and learn to experience the ultimate love.
Now I'm not saying arranged marriages are the answer. Yet, I'm saying perhaps we should re-think our defintion of what it means to love someone (and not just our significant other but also our parents, friends, siblings, etc) The Indians who have arranged marriages commit before truly knowing what it means to love the other while we commit to the other because we love and then when the feeling is gone because he snores, she can't cook, he works too much and she gained 20 lbs after having your children...well, then, the doubts start in- "maybe I could have found someone better...if I had just waited a little longer would Prince Charming or Sleeping Beauty have come into the scene?" Love gets hard and the marriage starts taking on water like a sinking ship and we jump before we even try to get the water out. We take the easy version of love, bouncing from love to love, hoping that one day the perfect one will magically bring out every good quality in you for the rest of your life. It's a nice thought but pretty unrealistic. We expect others to make us into people that only God can create.
So the question is- what is your definition of love?
<3

Iron Jawed Angels - Parade In Washington

A Story

My dad once told a story about a pastor who had a child. The man loved his son but one day the boy got sick. The man prayed, the family prayed, the church prayed, friends prayed. Yet, he only got worse and eventually he passed away.

It was a struggle for everyone to understand. Yet, the pastor kept going, kept preaching, kept the faith.

When a friend asked him how he was able to remain so strong after his little boy had passed away, the pastor looked at him and said, "I don't understand why it happened but I will not go to hell over a mystery."

Think about it.