Still learning how to bend.

Oh dear me. I've gone and done it again. Sigh. Why do we get so caught up in our lives that we forget the most important person in our lives??? Why do I promise myself to not let myself slip through God's fingers again.....and then I go and do it?! Even as I lay here I don't want to get my Bible out....I just want to take some meds and go to bed. Sigh. Not only do I need to work on my spiritual side....I MUST work on my physical. Weird thing to say....I know. But my back has been hurting for awhile now and I'm pretty sure it's because I have hyperextended back muscles (or whatever the term is for over strengthened muscles) but no abs. I'm thinking it's putting too much pressure on my lower back which is then hurting and causing my upper back to tense up. Ay yi yi. I need to go get a massage. haha...anyone want to give me one for free?! Anyway. I digress. I've been fighting with myself to not be desperate or clingy....and I think I've succeeded. I went for nearly a week and a half without any real contact. (hehe makes it sound like I'm talking about aliens.) So I'm super proud of myself for that. It's a major accomplishment. Yet, I know I still need to work through some things. I just wish there came a point in our lives where we "arrived." When we can sit down and take a breather and still know that God will look us in the eye and tell us we did well. Perhaps it's just how I was raised. Maybe I don't need to "fix" myself like I feel like I must. Maybe all God wants for me to do is accept who I am.....I seriously doubt it though. A loving God He is....a complacent God He is not. That makes me smile because if God was a complacent God....we would be up a creek without a paddle.....to say it cleanly. Oy vey. I have more random thoughts but they're starting to become scattered due to my headache and backache. sheesh.... Someone's broken. haha....have a good night. LOVE YA!