Monday, November 30, 2009
What does it all mean?
The past couple of days...actuall the past couple of weeks have been strange for me. There's this knowing inside me that I'm on the verge of something but I can't quite get my mind around what exactly it is. I finished reading Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot yesterday on the way home from Oklahoma. It has given me so much to think about. Like what does it mean to actually be in love? And not the world's view of love but God's view. I used to think, "oh just look at I Corinthians 13 to know what it means to love someone." Yet, as I've grown older I'm discovering that it's not the answer I'm looking for. Chapter 13 explains, to me at least, what it means to be a Christian. To love the world through God's grace and help. Perhaps I'm wrong....in fact I probably am....yet, I've looked at that chapter time and time again with no discovery of what it means for a woman to love a man or a man to love a woman. The world says, through movies and books that I'm supposed to feel butterflies and the world is supposed to spin every time I see a person. That there are supposd to be fireworks and sparks and the intense longing for that person and no one else. Your world becomes consumed by that person. Yet, is that how God meant for His ordained relationships to be? If you don't feel those things does that mean your love is wrong or silly or not meant to be? Or does God's love mean something else? Is it more of a quiet strength that you give each other? Do you look at that person and even when you feel as if you could walk away you never will because you know within everything in you that that person is the one you're supposed to be with? I don't know...What I do know though is that I would rather have a love quiet and unassuming that lasts throughout my life than one quick burst of fireworks that die out quickly.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Silent Death and Screaming Life
Same heart, same blood wake up to say goodnight
No work spoken only breath is shared
Alive and yet suffocating
They look in the portal searching for truth
The window clouded by years of deafening silence
No communal love or affection shared within
Just hearts stretching, yearning, dying to touch
The burning desire no hand reaches out
No true word spoken
Understand killing like a shot gun, a knife to the heart
Wake up to see the blood flowing from a beating heart
Cofusion sweeps out the discord and makes its home in the hug
Touch and feel its warmth
Hearts meet and create icy fire consuming the lives of the forgotten
And steals the breath of the observer.
-2008-
A full heart...
So I've been sitting here in the library for the past hour trying to figure out what to say, how to say it...and I still don't know. I'm at this strange loss. I need to write. To spill it all out somewhere, on something, to someone. Perhaps this isn't the best way but it's been the one place where I feel as if what I have to say is important to someone...somewhere...Silly? Perhaps. Or maybe it's just the way it's supposed to be. Something has happened to me. It's scares me. I would say I'm excited but that would be lying. I can't decipher what is exactly going on. I don't know what God is doing. All I know is that I'm becoming driven to find out God's will for my life. About a week ago I was randomly on the internet and decided to look up the setapartgirl.com website. It's based on the book written by Leslie Ludy....it has opened my eyes. Anyway, I was looking into their online magazine and randomly looked at the "Leslie's Picks" section. It was there that I discovered that they have a program up in Windsor, Colorado called the Ellersie School of Honor. I never knew they had it. Never. Words can't even begin to explain. Seriously. I'm so.......? I don't even know. All I know is that I'm praying and seeking God like never before about this. There is more but I'm slowly starting to feel overwhelmed by it all. I'll more when I'm better able to compose my thoughts. This is such an amazing time in my life. Who knew that this is where I would be?
Deciphering Me
Friend, it's getting late, we should be going
We have sat here beneath these flickering neons for hours.
While I am cracking their code, you are deciphering me
For I am a mystery, I am a locked room in a tall tower.
Oh can you feel the gravity falling, calling us home?
Oh did you see the stars colliding?
Shining just to show,
We belong.
We belong.
Your telescope eyes see everything clearly
My vision is blurred but I know what I herd Echoing all around.
Well I am telling you and you are deciphering me.
Not such a mystery, not such a faint and far away sound.
Oh can you feel the gravity falling?
Calling us home?
Oh did you see the stars colliding?
Shining just to show,
We belong.
We belong.
Its love, its love that holds us
We will be alright
Its truth, its truth that shows us
As we walk in this life.
Its love, its love that holds us
We will be alright
Its truth, its truth that shows us
As we walk in this life.
Oh can you feel the gravity falling?
Calling us home?
Oh did you see the stars colliding?
Shining just to show,
We belong.
Oh can you feel the gravity falling?
Calling us home?
Oh did you see the stars colliding?
Shining just to show,
We belong.
Oh can you feel the gravity falling?
Calling us home?
Oh did you see the stars colliding?
Shining just to show,
We belong.
Wednesday Oct 21
♥ "There are two wills, two interests, two lives. Once it was I and not Christ; then it was I and Christ; perhaps now it is even Christ and I. But has it come yet to be Christ only, and not I at all?” ♥
Where to start...
Ephesians 2:5
"Even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved.)"
I can develop self-discipline through Christ who gives me strength. I can find self-discipline in God. He can give me what I need if I let Him. Through Christ I can succeed and pass my classes. Believe it! God cares even about my grades.
II Corinthians 6:1 & 2
"1 We then, as workers together with Him also plead with you not to receive the grace of God in vain. 2 For He says: In an acceptable time I have heard you, and in the day of salvation I have helped you.” Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation..."
God's grace empowers us even when we didn't deserve it.
II Corinthians 12: 7-10
"7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
God's divine influence will work on our behalf if we turn to Him in times of trouble.
Hebrews 4:16
"16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
I need to approach God's throne with the epectation that He will follow through with what He said. If I turn to Him, He WILL give me what I need to make it through this time.
Romans 5: 20 & 21
"20 Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more, 21 so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Romans 6:1
"1 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?"
I can turn away from the chains of the lack of self-discipline and accept the grace of God in my time of need. And how badly I need it right now.
II Peter 1:2 (AMP)
"2May grace (God's favor) and peace (which is perfect well-being, all necessary good, all spiritual prosperity, and freedom from fears and agitating passions and moral conflicts) be multiplied to you in [the full, personal, precise, and correct] knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord"
I am free from the chains of stress and hopelessness! This will end as my best year yet!
II Peter 1:3
"3 as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue,"
Don't focus on your strengths, focus on the freedom from your weaknesses. Remember that when you admit weaknesses God is made strong! You can live above all things. These things will not destroy you! You are more than a conqueror in Christ who strengthens you! When you wake up you are free! Draw everything you can from the throne of Grace during the day and don't worry about tomorrow. God will be there still ready and willing.
II Peter 1:1-10
"1 Simon Peter, a bondservant and apostle of Jesus Christ,To those who have obtained like precious faith with us by the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ: 2 Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, 3 as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, 4 by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. 5 But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, 6 to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, 7 to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. 8 For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins. 10 Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble; 11 for so an entrance will be supplied to you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
There is hope for us yet!
II Corinthians 5:17
"17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."
II Corinthians 13:5
"Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you are disqualified."
Romans 8:8
"8 So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God."
My carnal thinking is a problem because is not subjected to the law of God. To control my carnal thinking I need to subject it to the law of God continually.
Romans 8:12-17
"12 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors—not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together."
I did not recieve again the spirit of fear from God but I have been adopted into the family of God and by that I have the right to cry out to Him. The Lord sent the Holy Spirit to help me in my weaknesses.
Romans 8:26
"26 Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered."
II Peter 1:9
9 For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins.
Jesus has delivered you from your past. There is nothing that can happen to you in your future that God hasn't already fixed and helped you with. This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. He has also already set tomorrow so you might as well plan on rejoicing and being glad in it too. Go into each day with a smile knowing His mercies and grace are new every morning. He is here with you today, tomorrow, and the next day. Remember- You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.
Where to start...
Ephesians 2:5
"Even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved.)"
I can develop self-discipline through Christ who gives me strength. I can find self-discipline in God. He can give me what I need if I let Him. Through Christ I can succeed and pass my classes. Believe it! God cares even about my grades.
II Corinthians 6:1 & 2
"1 We then, as workers together with Him also plead with you not to receive the grace of God in vain. 2 For He says: In an acceptable time I have heard you, and in the day of salvation I have helped you.” Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation..."
God's grace empowers us even when we didn't deserve it.
II Corinthians 12: 7-10
"7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
God's divine influence will work on our behalf if we turn to Him in times of trouble.
Hebrews 4:16
"16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
I need to approach God's throne with the epectation that He will follow through with what He said. If I turn to Him, He WILL give me what I need to make it through this time.
Romans 5: 20 & 21
"20 Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more, 21 so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Romans 6:1
"1 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?"
I can turn away from the chains of the lack of self-discipline and accept the grace of God in my time of need. And how badly I need it right now.
II Peter 1:2 (AMP)
"2May grace (God's favor) and peace (which is perfect well-being, all necessary good, all spiritual prosperity, and freedom from fears and agitating passions and moral conflicts) be multiplied to you in [the full, personal, precise, and correct] knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord"
I am free from the chains of stress and hopelessness! This will end as my best year yet!
II Peter 1:3
"3 as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue,"
Don't focus on your strengths, focus on the freedom from your weaknesses. Remember that when you admit weaknesses God is made strong! You can live above all things. These things will not destroy you! You are more than a conqueror in Christ who strengthens you! When you wake up you are free! Draw everything you can from the throne of Grace during the day and don't worry about tomorrow. God will be there still ready and willing.
II Peter 1:1-10
"1 Simon Peter, a bondservant and apostle of Jesus Christ,To those who have obtained like precious faith with us by the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ: 2 Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, 3 as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, 4 by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. 5 But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, 6 to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, 7 to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. 8 For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins. 10 Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble; 11 for so an entrance will be supplied to you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
There is hope for us yet!
II Corinthians 5:17
"17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."
II Corinthians 13:5
"Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you are disqualified."
Romans 8:8
"8 So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God."
My carnal thinking is a problem because is not subjected to the law of God. To control my carnal thinking I need to subject it to the law of God continually.
Romans 8:12-17
"12 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors—not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together."
I did not recieve again the spirit of fear from God but I have been adopted into the family of God and by that I have the right to cry out to Him. The Lord sent the Holy Spirit to help me in my weaknesses.
Romans 8:26
"26 Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered."
II Peter 1:9
9 For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins.
Jesus has delivered you from your past. There is nothing that can happen to you in your future that God hasn't already fixed and helped you with. This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. He has also already set tomorrow so you might as well plan on rejoicing and being glad in it too. Go into each day with a smile knowing His mercies and grace are new every morning. He is here with you today, tomorrow, and the next day. Remember- You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.
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