Set-Apart Feminity

So I'm writing this- finally- at the request of a beautiful sister! This book is written by Leslie Ludy. It's a hard read. Easier than the Bible but harder than a romance book. ;) She talks about the Proverbs 31 woman. Sigh. I've heard so many mixed beliefs about that passage. It's in the Bible so there is some meaning behind it. Now what that might be....I honestly believe is up to the discernment of each individual woman. That might be a chicken way out but...shrug. Anyway, I digress from the real point of this. To start explaining what the book is about I'm going to list the name of the chapters...considering I have yet to finish the book. :S

Chapter:
1-Sacred Intent
2-Sacred Design
3-Sacred Priority
4-Sacred Decorum
5-Sacred Mystique
6-Sacred Cultivation
7-Sacred Ardor
8-Sacred Claim
9-Sacred Ceremony

It is mainly a book where the author says to deny all things "worldly" and take up you cross for Christ. That might sound cynical or sarcastic but I'm not trying to sound like that. It really is what the author is supporting. It sounds nice. It makes me have hope and yet it also makes me sad. Horrible yes? Sigh. I like some of the things that the world offers. Movies, music, boys, internet, books, etc. I don't drink. I don't party. I don't do that kind of stuff. Yet, I've come to realize that I am tied to this world in ways I never expected. I'm too scared to let go of it in order to become what God wants me to. Sigh. Blargh. Life is such a sticky thing. I wish I was amazing like Amy Carmichael or Elizabeth Elliot....just to name a few. Why were they blessed with such a love for God while other woman (and men) have to struggle to find their way out of all things worldly? Sigh. I don't understand. Shrug. Oh well. Guess some people are blessed like that while others have to struggle their whole lives just to find that love. Kinda seems.....unfair. haha...I know. Who said life was fair??

Would you love me if I was different?

This is going to be short and very sweet. I've been reading a book called Set Apart Femininity. It is a hard read. The writer is very cut and dry, tell it like it is, speak the truth even though no one really wants to hear it. It's one of those books I feel compelled to read but would rather not. I know she's right to a large degree and that scares me. I don't know. It's two in the morning and I'm tired but not. As usual everything starts to hit me right before I go to bed and so would rather just not sleep. Shrug. Wish it wasn't that way. Anyway. I wonder how many people will reject me if I follow my heart and what I feel is the right thing. Ha. Who knows. I have to make a decision though. I can't just sit on the fence of my Christianity anymore. It's one way or the other. It's God or the world. I can't have both. Goodness knows how much I want both though. Sigh. I already know who I'm going to choose. I just don't want to act on it yet. I'm not ready to be lonely yet. Well, lonely by the world's standards. Who knows. Maybe God will have mercy on me and surprise me with a friend who feels the same way I do. :) One can always hope right? Anyway. That's all. I'm still wide awake. Guess I'll read more of that book.

If I sang like a female version of Andrea Bocelli would you love me??

Wow. Life has been C-R-A-Z-Y. I haven't blogged on here or myspace in a while. I've been too busy or too tired. Infact tonight I'm still not finished. hahaha....I'm going to eat at Ihop with my wonderful Big! So late night tonight but it's totally cool. Especially since I don't have class till one tomorrow!! yep yep! The brilliance of late classes. Now let's see what has happened in my life since I last posted......

Well let's start with my positions on campus. haha...that's the easiest way. I'm Campus Ministry workstudy in which I do random things for the minister including- getting the projector for chapel on Wednesday nights, reorganizing the office, helping her with finding out things, running errands....just to name a few. :) I am also on Campus Ministry Council in which I am the at large community/chapel outreach. That's still a little shaky in the sense that there isn't too much to it right now. Mainly because I'm too tired/lazy (?) to do much else with the position. I don't say that proudly. AT ALL. Anyway, I'm also Campus Ministry senate rep. I have to go to the senate meetings every Tuesday and report to them what all is going on in Campus Ministry. All the Campus Ministry RSO's (Recognized Student Organizations) are under me and I have to let them know all things important that happen in senate. They also have to report to me the going on's of their groups. Well, HAVE to is a little strong. It would be nice if they did. :) Then I'm on Judicial Board. Can't say much there except that I'm going to be busy. Then I have ASA (Alpha Sigma Alpha,) church, classes and choir..... talk about a full schedule. Yet, I like it. A lot. It keeps me from sitting around on my rear thinking too much about my lousy-ish life. Being busy doing things I enjoy and am good at makes me happy, confident and content. Granted I wouldn't mind having a couple of friends to hang out with on the weekends....when I'm NOT busy but I won't complain about that too much. Hahaha.... I think that this year is going to be good.

I'm enjoying my classes to a large extent. There are somethings that could use some tweaking but what doesn't? I really think/hope I'm going to enjoy my communications class. We have a speech due in a week and I'm pretty excited. Need to work on it though. hahaha.... I'll do that this weekend! Plus all the other stuff I need to do. I've decided to speak on communicating with men. I thought about speaking on how to communicate with women since I am a woman and it would be more.....correct? But I've decided women don't really even know what they want so how do you speak how to communicate with them....they don't even know how to communicate with each other half the time! So I decided on men. They're simple-ish. haha....not to say that they are stupid. They're just less complicated than women. So yeah. Life is good, exciting, busy and makes me smile. It's going to be a good year. Now if only I could convince my roomie to stick around for a little while longer.......any suggestions?? hahaha....

Lonely beds, broken hearts and a loving God.

Let the beauty of this earth shine for all to see. Remember that we are all lonely together. Never forget that the sun sets but also rises. The eyes speak more truth than the mouth. Can a smile shelter a heart?? Here's my life sitting lost somewhere along the way. Everything made sense when nothing was understood. I'm too exhausted to sleep. Strange life we live.