Sigh....

Why do things have to get so complicated? Sometimes I wish I was still the little girl running up and down the lane playing dress up. The simpleness of childhood is sometimes so much better than the complexities of growing up. I wish I could just be normal. Yet, as everyone who is reading this is asking....What is normal? I don't know...I just wish I could be it. I miss people. Hehe...kind of sounds like I'm in solitary confinement or something. Ok..I miss certain people. This isn't making any sense. Sorry to everyone who reads this and gets confused. Well, I need to go to class and then go to choir and then drive home and then go to homecoming and then.....sleep..aaahh precious sleep. I'm not feeling deep right now sooo...I'll stop writing.

Whoohoo!

I'm so happy! I don't really know why. I'm just happy. You know that has to be the best feeling in the world. There's a peace that comes with knowing Jesus. You know? It's amazing how you can just be happy to be alive. I'm so glad I'm me! There was a time that I just didn't like me. I wasn't good enough for anyone. Then I read the verse "If anyone is IN Christ, he is a new creation- old things have passed away, behold all things have become new!" Sigh, that's my life to the T. Old things have passed away! Thank You Jesus! I'm so amazed at how God can change us...for the better! That's what so great about Him, with Him you're always moving forward. Stick close to Jesus and you'll never go wrong. Sigh, I love Him. I'm so glad I don't feel the need to change myself with my own power- it's all through the power of Jesus now! I smile more. That's a major step just in itself. Hehe.... Jesus is the only one for me! Love You Jesus!

Just a thought....

So today I went to history- US up to the Civil War...The class is crazy cool. Yea, most of ya'll hate history and that's great but I don't. I LOVE IT! Anywhoo...my teacher was talking about the anti-federalists and federalists. She was talking about how our government is a compromise of both views...balance! I love it. I mean seriously...when you think about it....God totally orchestrated this whole situation. There couldn't have been that many geniuses in that time period. The whole idea that the US could have flopped is such a real one but it didn't! When you think about it....if you ever want to see a miracle....look at the United States. Yep, that's miracle enough when you realize the probablity of failure. I mean Shay's rebellion could have totally disentergrated the whole situation but....it didn't. The British could have won...but they didn't. The country could have collapsed during the Great Depression...but it didn't. So many countries could have destroyed us by now with nukes....but they haven't. People say that the US wasn't built for religious beliefs and things...well this is what I think. Yeah, the US might have been radical in demolishing the state church but without God we would be nothing. No one can tell me otherwise. So.....maybe we should remember that....The US has a part in a greater play than any of us can realize....God wouldn't have protected us for so long if we didn't. Maybe we should stop looking to our own heads to figure out what to do but look to the One who saved our rears and ask Him what HE wants from us....just a thought....

Yawn....

Goodness...I'm sleepy. I can't wait to go to bed. Well, nothing much to say. I went to Fiesta Texas today with mi madre and padre. It was really fun. My parents rode rides....too cute! I took a bunch of pictures....of myself. Hehe...don't want to appear vain. I just really liked my pictures. Well, nothing deep tonight...too tired..yawn...well talk to ya later...God bless.

Country Idol?

Well, I just got back from a Pat Green concert. I must admit it was pretty amazing. The music, the atmosphere, the pure excitement that filled the air...it was great. Yet, despite feeling the buzz of anticipation I couldn't let go and just drop myself into the flow. I could feel myself wanting to. I wanted to just let go and do what I wanted, act how I wanted, forget it all. Oh how I wanted to...but I couldn't. It's amazing how Jesus can meet you where ever you are....even in a crowd of a hundred or more people drinking, dancing, and smoking. I saw people lift their hands in excitement of the song as if they were praising someone...or something. That's when it hit me... people are raising their hands to their idol. Wow. Of course it is all in "innocence" but how far can that go? I wanted so badly to just let myself flirt and forget everything I've been taught. But I didn't. I thought for a moment about how nice it would be to have the popularity and personality that would attract someone like Pat Green or his fiddle player.... I'm thinking this even while Pat is acting drunk and dumb. Then I realized that I wouldn't be fulfilling my reason for being....I would be a cop out. I'll admit I'll still continue listening to country...for now. Yet, I've realized that it CAN'T become my idol....the thing that I lift my hands to....or even for that matter the fame that can come with such a lifestyle. So, no lifting of hands except to the One who deserves it....the Prince of Peace, Emmanuel, and the King of Kings- Jesus Christ- my savior and Lord.

In the beginning...

Well, here I am once again trying my hand at writing blogs...hmmm. I'm wanting to write about my life and things God has shown me. I praying that someone can relate to my situations and find hope where there sometimes seems none. I know that I feel that way at times. I'll warn you right now...I'm not the type of person to hide my true feelings- if I'm happy then I'm happy but if I'm sad then I'm sad. I know, I know- emotions should not rule your life. Well, I'm working on that right now. One step at a time... Maybe that's what I need to remember...one step at a time. I don't have to become perfect all at one time- yikes! If I did...hmmm...well we all know that wouldn't work. I'm a Christian- a bona fide, Bible totin', miracle believin', Holy Ghost believer. That's the part I do know. Now if only I could figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I'm trying to take care of that part. I'm constantly praying that God would help me to give up all my dreams, hopes and fears. His dreams are always so much better than our anyways- even if at the time it doesn't seem that way. My dad told me this when I graduated and there is so much wisdom in it...."The greatest adventure you will ever have is not discovering Paris but discovering yourself." God created me to a special person...only He knows the true me. This is about that journey....to discovering myself....So, keep reading! Let's both see what God can do!