Thursday, September 18, 2008

Would you love me if I was different?

This is going to be short and very sweet. I've been reading a book called Set Apart Femininity. It is a hard read. The writer is very cut and dry, tell it like it is, speak the truth even though no one really wants to hear it. It's one of those books I feel compelled to read but would rather not. I know she's right to a large degree and that scares me. I don't know. It's two in the morning and I'm tired but not. As usual everything starts to hit me right before I go to bed and so would rather just not sleep. Shrug. Wish it wasn't that way. Anyway. I wonder how many people will reject me if I follow my heart and what I feel is the right thing. Ha. Who knows. I have to make a decision though. I can't just sit on the fence of my Christianity anymore. It's one way or the other. It's God or the world. I can't have both. Goodness knows how much I want both though. Sigh. I already know who I'm going to choose. I just don't want to act on it yet. I'm not ready to be lonely yet. Well, lonely by the world's standards. Who knows. Maybe God will have mercy on me and surprise me with a friend who feels the same way I do. :) One can always hope right? Anyway. That's all. I'm still wide awake. Guess I'll read more of that book.

3 comments:

Kelly said...

Hey! So what does this book talk about. Dish, girlie. Why would you rather not read it? I'm smiling as I type these questions because I too am reading a book "A Woman After God's Own Heart" by Elizabeth George that is both painful and inspiring. Email me (btw, I´ll email you back this evening) or write another post that shares a little more about what she says. love you

Anonymous said...

i don't want to give up the world either... it sucks too, because i realize that i'm not going to be happy with what I want if it's not what God wants... ugh. putting that command into motion... i understand you, it sucks.
ps. this is katie mac... i don't know quite how to use this yet... very nifty site though... you're writing is always so thoughtful, real, and interesting

crzam06 said...

The Lord is in my life everyday, the world is within my reach, all that is lacking is knowing God's plan, which is revealed to me each day <3