How do you fix something you broke?

Well, as my first entry for at least a month, I have to say......I can't believe how imperfect I am. I know that sounds really....conceited...but it's true. I've been dealing with spiritual pride the past couple of months. Some things have been happening in my life though that is proving otherwise. Just how human, broken and messed up I am. What makes it even worse though is that I'm not finding it in myself to feel super guilty about it. I deliberatly disobeyed God....again. Sigh. I can't believe I'm that low....or perhaps I can. I just really need to pray about this and get back on track. Deliberatly disobeying God is the first sign that something is terribly wrong when it comes to my life. I just want to be perfect. My life would be so much easier then. All of ours would be for that matter...... I need help. I need forgiveness. I need to let go. I need to move on. Sigh. Anyway. I'll write more about my life and the past couple of months later..... <3