A Christmas Story

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustu, that all the world should be taxed. And all went up to be taxed, everyone into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flocks by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, "Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger." And sudenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, "Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us." And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, an the babe lying in a manger. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child. And all they that had heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him; and without him was not anything made that was made. In him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not. There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through him might believe...That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not. He came unto his own, and his own received him not. But as many received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth....And of his fulness have all we received, and grace for grace. For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ. No man hath seen God at any time; the only begotten Son, which in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him.

Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift.

A Prisoner of Hope

I'm back home in Pleasanton after a long long time away. I went to church today and hear my daddy preach for the first time in a very long time too. It was nice. Although I love my church in Kerrville being here is like being, well, home. I've never noticed it before but my parent's home is so peaceful to me. This past semester has been quite difficult for me either due to just a bad attitude or because it really has been tough. Still can't tell which one. Yet, coming home has been like settling into a nice soft bed with a good book. It's comfortable and quiet and a place where I can focus on the things I need to during this quiet time between semesters. The other day I was struggling. Really really badly. Ha. Who am I kidding?! The past 6 months have been a struggle! But tonight my daddy said something that really hit me- "God hasn't given up on us and we shouldn't give up on Him. The Devil can't stop us from serving God but he's trying to get us to quit and lose hope." All the powers of Hell cannot separate us from the love of God but we can separate ourselves if we so choose. Then I read a page from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers in which he spoke on wrestling before God. I would write the entire thing out but first of all that would be too much and secondly, kinda breaking copyright laws. So I won't. Yet, he speaks of how we shouldn't wrestle against God because that will only lead to Him having to cripple us as He did with Jacob in the Old Testament. He encourages that there be a wrestling with THINGS before God. That we must fight for our communication with God. That we must never give up and be empowered with His strength to fight the good fight. Honestly, this has been my best year yet but in the same breath I must say it has been the hardest. Yet, I believe it was to be expected. No, not desired but expected. Why would I expect Satan to sit around while I learn the most about myself than ever before? Learning my weaknesses, my strengths, what it means to develop real relationships and what it means to lose them in the same moment. Although I feel as if there hasn't been much deliverance this year from much of anything- I have hope. First of all I still have a week and a half left of this year. If God established the world in a week then He can definitely begin an establishment in me in a week and a half. I'm leaving this year and entering the next with expectation. Life as I know it is going to change. Again. Yet, I'm ok with that now. God is developing me into the woman He created me to be. It's strange to think that I'm about to graduate from school...well, ok, in about a year and five months. It's going to be interesting to see where this all goes. I guess the whole point of me writing this was hope. I just feel that many times we look around and see how the world is going. Down hill. We don't know what to do, how to stop it, how to keep it from tearing us apart. We sink into the pit letting it all affect us. Yet, the blessed thing about God is He's there to help back out. My daddy has always said that while there is breath there is hope. I'm beginning to see more and more just how true that is but especially with God there will always be hope. Even when there is no breath. Our God is a miracle making God. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Those things that He did 2,000 years ago He can still do. He will do if we just believe Him and our power through Him. So will we allow our lives to be a channel for God's power? Love? Hope? Or will we be the voice of honesty speaking out of circumstances instead of the TRUTH of God's word? Don't allow yourself to end this year with a "what's the use?" attitude. I know I had been sinking into that attitude and even now am struggling against it but with God there is always a point to fighting for His Truth. To fight for the salvation of your loved ones, to fight for morals and love and care. For freedom and victory in your life as well as your friends.

Walk on The Water

You look around

It's staring back at you

Another wave of doubt

Will it pull you under

You wonder

What if i'm overtaken

What if i never make it

What if no one's there?

Will you hear my prayer?

When you take that first step

Into the unknown

You know that he won't let you go

Chorus:

So what are you waiting for?

What do you have to lose?

Your insecurities try to alter you

You know you're made for more

So don't be afraid to move

Your faith is all

It takes in you

You can walk on the water too

Verse 2:

So get out

And let your fear fall to the ground

No time to waste

Don't wait

Don't you turn around and miss out

Everything you were made for

I know you're not sure

So you play it safe

Try to run away

If you take that first step

Into the unknown

He won't let you go

Bridge:

Even when a storm hits

(step out)

Even when you're broken

(step out)

Even when your heart is telling you telling you to give up

(step out)

When your hope is stolen

(step out)

You can't see where you're going

You don't have to be afraid

So what are you waiting for?

The burning of the flesh

Sometimes we spend more time telling God what we want than letting Him tell us what He wants. If you want to hear God laugh...tell Him your plans. In all our worldly wisdom we sit at the throne of God spouting off what we want, how a tall man will make me happy or how a woman with great beauty will be perfect. We spill the desires of our heart onto God's lap and expect Him to give it to us. But what happens if that's not His will? What happens if our desires aren't His? Do we sit at the throne and let Him whisper His dreams into our ear, into our heart? Or do we turn away from His mercy, saying if we can't have that then we want nothing. So many people look for the perfect person, the one they think will fulfill them. But I know more than ever before my will is not to be lived. God has called us to a higher lifestyle. To deny every dream, every hope, every wish that we have all for the far reaching goal of glorifying the High King. What if God never gives us another thing? What if God looks down on us and even allows Satan to take it all away? Do we turn our backs on Him as Job's wife begged Job to do? Or do we look at the ashes of our lives and pray that God gives me His plans, His tools and His vision to rebuild? Oh that my will was dead. Oh that yours was too. What we could accomplish if we denied our selves and picked up our crosses for Him! To be as Paul who proclaims that it is no longer I that lives but Christ in me! To no longer approach the throne of God with wishes and desires of future plans but of sitting at His feet with an up lifted heart to let Him whisper His dreams into the deep fertile soil that resides there. To deny myself. To allow this flesh to burn away so that only God's glory resides on me. To glow with the glory of God as Moses did when he came down from the mountain. Yet, how can this be unless I deny what this flesh wants? To live a life less ordinary means to step AWAY from the ordinary and into the extraordinary! But I feel that the only way that can happen is for me to quiet my desires, to lay them on the altar and sacrifice them for the greater good of God's plans. I have thought that it was almost my duty to tell God what I wanted. To present my requests to Him with faith and confidence that He will provide. Oh but is that all!? Am I called to live a life driven by my wants? Am I willing to look God in the face and say, "not my will but Yours be done." For Him to call me to the far reaches of Indonesia or South America or Russia and for me not to say, "oh but God I don't want that...I wanted to get married and stay here and build a home with four children and a loving husband. Can we maybe go to New York instead? It's the same thing just closer to home?" When will the time come for us to look not at ourselves and what we want but look to the Cross and discover God's plan for us there? That the building of His kingdom is the most important thing there is. How can we do that if all we see is our plans? Our wants? Our dreams? God did not send His one and only Son to give us everything He wanted. He sent His Son to save the world from the sin that so easily entangles us. We, as His people, need to stop looking to God for what He can give us and start looking to Him for what we can give Him. Our lives. Every last drop of sweat, blood, tears, and laughter. Every want, desire, dream, hope, fear. He wants it all. His will has been established from the beginning and it is more wonderful than anything you could ever imagine. More than anything you could dream up yourself. Sometimes A+B doesnt equal C to God. He's more complex than that. So I guess the question is, "am I going to allow God to live through me? Or will I only allow God to live with me?" Because, my dear, there is a difference.