The burning of the flesh

Sometimes we spend more time telling God what we want than letting Him tell us what He wants. If you want to hear God laugh...tell Him your plans. In all our worldly wisdom we sit at the throne of God spouting off what we want, how a tall man will make me happy or how a woman with great beauty will be perfect. We spill the desires of our heart onto God's lap and expect Him to give it to us. But what happens if that's not His will? What happens if our desires aren't His? Do we sit at the throne and let Him whisper His dreams into our ear, into our heart? Or do we turn away from His mercy, saying if we can't have that then we want nothing. So many people look for the perfect person, the one they think will fulfill them. But I know more than ever before my will is not to be lived. God has called us to a higher lifestyle. To deny every dream, every hope, every wish that we have all for the far reaching goal of glorifying the High King. What if God never gives us another thing? What if God looks down on us and even allows Satan to take it all away? Do we turn our backs on Him as Job's wife begged Job to do? Or do we look at the ashes of our lives and pray that God gives me His plans, His tools and His vision to rebuild? Oh that my will was dead. Oh that yours was too. What we could accomplish if we denied our selves and picked up our crosses for Him! To be as Paul who proclaims that it is no longer I that lives but Christ in me! To no longer approach the throne of God with wishes and desires of future plans but of sitting at His feet with an up lifted heart to let Him whisper His dreams into the deep fertile soil that resides there. To deny myself. To allow this flesh to burn away so that only God's glory resides on me. To glow with the glory of God as Moses did when he came down from the mountain. Yet, how can this be unless I deny what this flesh wants? To live a life less ordinary means to step AWAY from the ordinary and into the extraordinary! But I feel that the only way that can happen is for me to quiet my desires, to lay them on the altar and sacrifice them for the greater good of God's plans. I have thought that it was almost my duty to tell God what I wanted. To present my requests to Him with faith and confidence that He will provide. Oh but is that all!? Am I called to live a life driven by my wants? Am I willing to look God in the face and say, "not my will but Yours be done." For Him to call me to the far reaches of Indonesia or South America or Russia and for me not to say, "oh but God I don't want that...I wanted to get married and stay here and build a home with four children and a loving husband. Can we maybe go to New York instead? It's the same thing just closer to home?" When will the time come for us to look not at ourselves and what we want but look to the Cross and discover God's plan for us there? That the building of His kingdom is the most important thing there is. How can we do that if all we see is our plans? Our wants? Our dreams? God did not send His one and only Son to give us everything He wanted. He sent His Son to save the world from the sin that so easily entangles us. We, as His people, need to stop looking to God for what He can give us and start looking to Him for what we can give Him. Our lives. Every last drop of sweat, blood, tears, and laughter. Every want, desire, dream, hope, fear. He wants it all. His will has been established from the beginning and it is more wonderful than anything you could ever imagine. More than anything you could dream up yourself. Sometimes A+B doesnt equal C to God. He's more complex than that. So I guess the question is, "am I going to allow God to live through me? Or will I only allow God to live with me?" Because, my dear, there is a difference.