A Prisoner of Hope

I'm back home in Pleasanton after a long long time away. I went to church today and hear my daddy preach for the first time in a very long time too. It was nice. Although I love my church in Kerrville being here is like being, well, home. I've never noticed it before but my parent's home is so peaceful to me. This past semester has been quite difficult for me either due to just a bad attitude or because it really has been tough. Still can't tell which one. Yet, coming home has been like settling into a nice soft bed with a good book. It's comfortable and quiet and a place where I can focus on the things I need to during this quiet time between semesters. The other day I was struggling. Really really badly. Ha. Who am I kidding?! The past 6 months have been a struggle! But tonight my daddy said something that really hit me- "God hasn't given up on us and we shouldn't give up on Him. The Devil can't stop us from serving God but he's trying to get us to quit and lose hope." All the powers of Hell cannot separate us from the love of God but we can separate ourselves if we so choose. Then I read a page from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers in which he spoke on wrestling before God. I would write the entire thing out but first of all that would be too much and secondly, kinda breaking copyright laws. So I won't. Yet, he speaks of how we shouldn't wrestle against God because that will only lead to Him having to cripple us as He did with Jacob in the Old Testament. He encourages that there be a wrestling with THINGS before God. That we must fight for our communication with God. That we must never give up and be empowered with His strength to fight the good fight. Honestly, this has been my best year yet but in the same breath I must say it has been the hardest. Yet, I believe it was to be expected. No, not desired but expected. Why would I expect Satan to sit around while I learn the most about myself than ever before? Learning my weaknesses, my strengths, what it means to develop real relationships and what it means to lose them in the same moment. Although I feel as if there hasn't been much deliverance this year from much of anything- I have hope. First of all I still have a week and a half left of this year. If God established the world in a week then He can definitely begin an establishment in me in a week and a half. I'm leaving this year and entering the next with expectation. Life as I know it is going to change. Again. Yet, I'm ok with that now. God is developing me into the woman He created me to be. It's strange to think that I'm about to graduate from school...well, ok, in about a year and five months. It's going to be interesting to see where this all goes. I guess the whole point of me writing this was hope. I just feel that many times we look around and see how the world is going. Down hill. We don't know what to do, how to stop it, how to keep it from tearing us apart. We sink into the pit letting it all affect us. Yet, the blessed thing about God is He's there to help back out. My daddy has always said that while there is breath there is hope. I'm beginning to see more and more just how true that is but especially with God there will always be hope. Even when there is no breath. Our God is a miracle making God. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Those things that He did 2,000 years ago He can still do. He will do if we just believe Him and our power through Him. So will we allow our lives to be a channel for God's power? Love? Hope? Or will we be the voice of honesty speaking out of circumstances instead of the TRUTH of God's word? Don't allow yourself to end this year with a "what's the use?" attitude. I know I had been sinking into that attitude and even now am struggling against it but with God there is always a point to fighting for His Truth. To fight for the salvation of your loved ones, to fight for morals and love and care. For freedom and victory in your life as well as your friends.