Spring Has Sprung

So today I was looking at classes for next semester. I am just blown away that I am going to be a senior next year. A senior in college. I have dreamed about this moment since I was 8. I remember when I would count how many years I had left till I was forever done with school. It's a terrifyingly exciting thought. School has defined my life and soon there will be other things that define it. There are moments like these when I look at my life and all I can see is the mess. Today I was walking back home after class thinking about my life and such things when I noticed that there was a sudden bloom of all these wild flowers in the past 24 hours. I smiled because I thought about how ugly campus looked just a few weeks ago. All brown and dead. Then in 24 hours up sprouts these beautiful little dandilions, buttercups, and pretty little purple flowers. That's how my life feels right now. For a little while I have been spiritually struggling with so many different things. Yet, with in the past couple of weeks, just as with spring, random little flowers pop up. I have discovered the truth of Isaiah 55: 8-13.

8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow come down from heaven,

and do not return to it without watering the earth

and making it bud and flourish,

so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:

It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire

and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace;

the mountains and hills will burst into song before you,

and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,

and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.

This will be for the LORD's renown, for an everlasting sign,

which will not be destroyed."

So often we hear God's word and there is no instant change. It's like the snow that sits up in the mountains. It falls but it's sitting till the right time to melt. When spring comes it melts and goes down the mountain to provide nurishment where ever it flows. Other times we hear God's word and it's like the rain. It gives instant change and nourishment. For me, I think the snow of God's word is melting and running down the mountains in my life to water the fertile soil in the valley of my heart. It's been hard and a struggle. Just as many winters are. Yet, spring is here and as I'm walking around the fields of my heart I am discovering the beauty that is deep within.

Oh I still struggle. I still wonder if I'm just a broken woman who will never be fulfilled in the many ways I would like. But how can I stay that way when all I see are the gorgeous flowers that are blooming all around me? There is so much hope in spring! I told someone the other day that God is developing me into a woman of character. I read this once- "Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them." I love that. My entire life I have asked the hard questions, I have fought for the truth, I have been loud and many times not backed down from a fight if I know I'm right. I'm not this sweet, quiet, docile woman who is completely submissive without any questions. I love fashion. I love thinking hard about things, why things go the way they do, why people do what they do. I'm difficult and I have struggled with that. Yet, right, wrong, or indifferent that's how I am and I'm tired of trying to be someone I'm not. I am beautiful just the way I am. So I'm going to fight to right the wrongs, I'm going to keep asking the hard questions, I'm gonna laugh loud and long, and I'm not going to compromise my beliefs. These just a few of the flowers in my life that I have discovered. God is making my life into something beautiful and when He is done it's going to be fantastic thing to behold.