This is me, you're talking to.......the one who really knows you.....

I'm so stressed right now. I just want to live without living....without the stress.....but we all know that ain't going to happen....oh well. I'm trying so hard to grow up but it really is hard and I'm seriously starting to wonder if 1. I'm even growing any and 2. if I ever will reach the end of maturing.....I'm scared I won't. I'm scared I'll always be stuck in this childlike mentality of having everyone take care of me....being selfish...and rude....but the thing is I don't feel that I am......Yet, everyone else seems to think I am. I'm actually at the point where I don't want to have anything to do with men. Amazing isn't it? Its not that I'm holding all this drama against them....I'm just enjoying being myself without having to force someone to love me.....That doesn't work....just in case anyone was wondering......haha.... I'm hoping if I just sit, be myself and not force anything....the man that God has for me will come.....sure its probably going to take awhile and that's not a very comforting thought......but I'm willing to accept it. :) I'm tired of being happy with a guy and then him ruining it all because he doesn't like how I am......shrug. Oh well. That's just the way its going to be for awhile and I think that for now I'm ok with that.... Well this isn't super deep....I can't focus...I have too much stuff to do in order to do that.....haha...hope you have a great night! love love love!!! muaw!