Thoughts while dusting...hehe...

Ok seriously it is amazing the thoughts that can come to you while you are doing the menial tasks. I was dusting at work and thinking about my life and my future- a sticky subject to be sure. I can never decide which would be better get married now or wait and live life on my own a little. Then I started thinking about how much I want to go to Europe and explore who I am and what I am. Yet, at the same time I think it would be absolutely amazing to marry a pastor. That's probably strange to most of ya'll who are reading this but eh...Anywhoo, I just look at my parents and how happy they are...despite problems...despite discouragement...despite hurt and anger. It really wasn't that bad but it always seems like there are more hurts in life than anything else doesn't it? But I digress...So my parents are happy and in love and have a church family to be there for them when blood family can't. (We live 4 hours away from our closes relatives.) I love it! I feel that God has called me to be a leader in a church somewhere out there... I mean seriously He couldn't have made me a pastor's daughter so I just sit on my bum all my life in church never living out my faith. So yeah....well I was thinking about those two things when I realized one will probably have to be given up! AAAHHH! I can't do that! These are both two dreams I've had since I was a little girl. I know God can and will work in me to will and do His good pleasure but SERIOUSLY...I don't want to give them up!?!!? Sniff.. (I feel like a little kid...hehe.) I'm really not THAT worried about it. I just never thought about my having to possibly give up one or even both of my dreams...Argh. Thanks brain for such positive thoughts. The way I look at it that if I marry a pastor I won't have TIME or MONEY to go to Europe. I guess honestly if I was a pastor's wife I wouldn't want the time or the money because that means I'm not doing enough and we're aren't managing our money correctly. So...I guess I need to pray about going to Europe before I marry so I can go at least once before my life is forever chained to this continent...hehe. Ok...I've ranted enough for now. I'll be back though with something deep..er tonight. Maybe.....