When it all comes down to it.....

I wonder if I'm just trying to find a way to get out of it all. I just want somebody to save me....to stop me.....but no one will. We're all caught up in our own lives...not caring about each other.... I'm just as guilty of it as others but I don't know what to do anymore. I feel as if I can't take care of myself and others. So I've just become consumed in my own problems not trying to reach out to anyone else. It seems easier that way.......No it doesn't seem...it is easier. Wrong? yes....easier? yes..... I'm just tired of doing this. I want to be free but I'm scared of God. He created me and I'm all screwed up. I hurt people. I'm spiteful. I'm mean, rude, and selfish. I live in a world of self pity and an intense desire for attention. (Evidence of the latter quite obvious right now...sigh) I want to be free but I don't think I ever will. Shrug. I'm kinda just locked in this cell of black walls with little to no light coming in. Whatever. That's the way this cookie is crumbling. I'm just gonna have to accept it and move on. Welp, hope ya'll have a wonderful day! :)