Held in the arms of the one who loves me.....

Mae....thanks for the basis to this.....You ARE so totally RIGHT!
I was talking with some girls last night about the confusion that I feel because I want to marry and be happy but I love my independence and I know that I need to grow and discover more about God and myself. How last year after my very first boyfriend cheated on me I would watch the clock for 11:11. When the clock would hit that time I would pray...that this year I would go to Paris and meet the man that I was supposed to marry. Stupid...I know. My first mistake was giving God a time line. My second one was actually expecting Him to follow it... (Haha that's something we said last night...God was probably thinking who's God here?? You or Me? Don't make me come down there and show you the real God......) Hrrmmm...this is probably really hard to follow and understand. Sigh.... Anyway....Mae said something about how we needed to look at the Lord like He is our Lover. That we need to spend the honeymoon with our first lover before He will hand us over to another man to "take" care of us. I loved it. We..I need to allow God to romance our hearts. We are always looking for someone to complete us.....but in the end the only one who can do that is God. So many times I've pictured myself being cradled in God's arms...being held by the one who loves me most. That's how it needs to be. I can't expect people to complete me. They can't even complete themselves half the time! I'm on this journey alone. And though that scares me and I wish it wasn't so....I think in the end I will learn some important lessons on the way. In fact I AM learning important lessons on the way. I need to enjoy the honeymoon with my Lover. Because in the end He loves me and is pleased with who I am. I am enough to Him. I am unforgettable. I need to go back to my first love. Sigh. I know the truth but that thought scares me. What if He won't accept me? What if I have made Him mad enough to just wash His hands of me? I need to rediscover the heart of God. Well here is one more random thought about a random thing that a random girl decided to write down. Take it and do with it what you will.