Thinking.....a dangerous thing....

Well....dear world.....I've been thinking about life. Not about anything in particular.....just a bunch of deep thoughts rolling around in my mind.....none of them staying and me being able to focus on them. Sigh......I want to go somewhere......with someone.....doing something.....but we both know that isn't going to happen. Nope its just going to me and the TV today. Which is a rather depressing thought for someone who despite the fact that she needs her time alone would much rather spend her time with a close friend having fun. No fun for me. Sigh. I'm ready to move somewhere and meet people.....another new start. See where that takes me. I just wish reality wasn't so freakin' blah. You read books, watch movies, listen to music....all potraying lives of excitement, wonder, maturity, security....just to name a few emotions. I look at my life and all I see is a silly girl wishing for a life that will never be like the books or movies or songs. No man will ever look at me as "Cinderella" or say that I mean the world to them....or be their everything. I'm just Kathleen Hagood. The girl who wants to be those things....who wants to be strong but soft. Alluring but open. Hard but merciful. Daring but safe. Friendly but mysterious. Humble but prideful. Hmmmm.....I kinda feel like that's how I am....who knows.....maybe one day I will be.